ANAL HOOK: A smooth, blunt metal hook, typically about an inch thick and six inches long, with a small loop on one end. The shorter side of the hook is inserted into the anus, and a rope tied to the loop on the other end can be tied to an overhead fixture to force the wearer to kneel with their ass in the air.
Anilingus: Any sexual activity involving licking, kissing, or tonguing another person's anus.
Animalism: Any form of role play in which a participant assumes the role of an animal to be trained, such as a horse or dog. See also Puppy Play.
BDSM: A composite acronym for "B&D" (Bondage & Discipline); "D&S" (Dominance & submission); and "S&M" (sadomasochism) Used to refer to any consensual activities or lifestyles between adults which include some or all of these things. The term "BDSM" is used in a general sense to describe any situation or practice which includes power exchange, dominance and submission, pain play, bondage, sensation play or anything related to these.
Bastinado: Any form of pain play involving inflicting pain on the soles of the feet, often by striking, cropping or whipping them.
Boi: A person, usually biologically female and often boyish or "butch" in manner, appearance, or dress, who is submissive; commonly but not exclusively used in lesbian D/s relationships. An effeminate man.
Bottom: A person who receives spankings, floggings, or other forms of stimulation in situations which specifically exclude power exchange. For example, a masochist may be interested in receiving some kind of stimulation but may not be interested in giving up psychological control; whereas a submissive has given up authority and may receive some kind of stimulation on the instruction of a Dominant. A bottom does not give up authority and may control exactly how, under what circumstances, and to what degree he or she receives some form of stimulation.
Co-Top: A Dominant or Top who acts in conjunction with another Dominant or Top during a specific scene.
Collar: An item worn around the neck, sometimes equipped with a locking device to prevent its removal, and often worn as a symbol of submission.
Contrapolar stimulation: Relating to any form of stimulation which produces both pleasure and pain sensations simultaneously.
Dacrylagnia: Psychology Sexual arousal from seeing a partner cry.
Demon Stick: (Sometimes called "Evil Sticks") Colloquial An implement consisting of a thin rod of carbon fiber, typically about the diameter of a mechanical pencil lead, attached to a small, rigid handle. The carbon fiber rod is flexible and very strong; when laid against the skin and then flicked with a strong upward motion at its tip, it causes a sharp pain and typically leaves a thin, well-defined welt that can persist for days. (KadiBlue is the creator of this device. Patented since 1996 with the United States Patent and Trademark Office)
Dom: A Dominant. Often indicates a male Dominant; however, may be applied to a Dominant of any sex.
Dom Frenzy: (See Sub Frenzy.) The desire of the Dominant or Top, is to "keep going" even past the point of safety for the submissive or bottom. People in the grip of Dom Frenzy may sometimes make unwise or unsafe choices for the sub or bottom.
Dominant: A person who assumes a role of power or authority in a power exchange relationship. A dominant takes psychological control over or has power over another person, and may, for example, give that person orders which are to be obeyed.
Domme: (Pronounced: Dom-May) A female Dominant. Like many other words that came along with the Internet, Domme is an internet word.
Drop Collar: A specific type of collar which is shaped in such a way as to descend in the front, so that the frontmost part of the collar rests in the hollow of the throat rather than around the front of the neck. A drop collar may be constructed of a rigid material like stainless steel, or made of more conventional materials such as leather. Some drop collars feature a medallion, charm, or other ornamentation on the frontmost part of the collar.
Edge Play:
1. Any practice which involves significant risk of injury or physical harm; as, breath control, fire play.
2. Any practice which challenges the limits or boundaries of one or more of the participants.
Endorphins: Naturally-occurring opiate-like chemicals produced in the brain in response to pain, which block pain and can produce a euphoric sensation. The euphoria sometimes described by people who engage in BDSM is often attributed to endorphins.
Enema: The act of introducing water or other liquid into the bowel or lower intestine, often by means of a nozzle inserted into the anus and connected to a liquid-filled bag or bulb. Commentary: In a BDSM context, enemas may be given for pleasure (some people find the sensations enjoyable or arousing), as a form of humiliation play, or simply as a precursor to anal sex.
Exhibitionist: One who is sexually aroused by showing others his or her body or by being watched, particularly in a sexual setting or while engaged in sexual activity.
Fear Play: Any BDSM activity centered around creating the feeling of fear in one or more of the participants. This does not necessarily have to involve elements of pain or actual danger; sensations of fear may be created through the use of psychological pressure, sensory deprivation, the threat of pain or discomfort, or even exposing a person to the object of a phobia.
Figging: The practice of placing a piece of carved ginger root into the anus or vagina. The result is a burning sensation which many people claim can intensify orgasm, and which other people use as an adjunct to physical discipline.
Fisting: The practice of inserting the entire hand into the vagina or into the anus.
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Knife Play: Any activity involving use of a knife. Sometimes done strictly for psychological effect, as with a dull knife; sometimes done for the purpose of cutting or breaking the skin.
Limit: A boundary, which may be set by a Dominant or a submissive, which specifies a point past which any activity will not go.
•Soft Limit: A limit which is not necessarily be set in stone, but which may be flexible or may change over time.
•Hard Limit: A limit which is considered to be absolute, inflexible, and non-negotiable.
Masochist: One who experiences arousal, excitement, or sexual gratification from receiving pain.
Master: A Dominant, usually in a TPE relationship. Usually male. The female equivalent is a Mistress.
Mistress: Female equivalent of a Master.
Power Exchange: Any situation where two or more people consensually and voluntarily agree to a power relationship in which one (or more) people assume authority and one (ore more) people yield authority. This relationship may be for a predetermined time, or indefinite. Relationships based on indefinite power exchange are often referred to as TPE (Total Power Exchange) relationships or dynamics. The defining factor of power exchange is the conscious, deliberate construction of a power dynamic in which at least one person assumes psychological control to some agreed-upon extent over at least one other person.
Protocol: Any defined, enforced code of behavior which a submissive is expected to abide by. A protocol often imposes constraints and limits on the submissive's behavior, particularly in social settings; for example, a protocol may specify that a submissive is not to speak to another person without the Dominant's permission.
Predicament Bondage: A type of bondage in which the intent is to place the bound person in an awkward, difficult, inconvenient, or uncomfortable situation, or to set out a challenge for the bound person to overcome. For example, a person might be bound in such a way that his or her hands and feet are largely but not completely immobilized, then asked to perform a task (such as to serve the dominant partner a drink) which is made difficult by the bondage; or, a person might be bound and told to hold a weight in his or her teeth attached to a line connected to nipple clamps in such a way that if he or she drops the weight, it will suddenly yank off the nipple clamps, then be spanked or tickled in an attempt to get him or her to drop the weight.
Psycholagny: Orgasm without physical stimulation.
Pony Play: An activity in which the submissive takes on the role of a pony; for example, by walking on all fours, sometimes with a bit or bridle in the mouth; by pulling carts; by allowing the Dominant to ride on his or her back, etc.
Puppy Play: An activity in which the submissive takes on the role of a puppy, as by barking, walking on all fours, and in some cases even sleeping in a doghouse or cage. Many submissives enjoy dressing the part, with fluffy ears, tails and other adornments to let others know that they are indeed in "puppy-mode".
Queening: A practice whereby a Dominant, usually but not always female, sits on the face of a submissive, who is often restrained, forcing the submissive to perofrm oral sex and/or anilingus.
Risk Aware Consensual Kink R.A.C.K.: All parties are aware of the risks involved in any BDSM activity, but choose to take that risk, after being informed of all dangers that may exist during play.All parties are informed and consent, knowing the possibilities exists of bodily harm.
S&M - Sadomasochism: Any activity or practice involving the inflicting or receiving of pain.
Sadist: One who is aroused, excited, or receives sexual gratification from inflicting pain on another.
Safe, Sane, And Consensual (SSC): A code of conduct which holds that any activity between adults is acceptable as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual.
Safe Word: A predefined code word which a submissive can use to stop an ongoing activity if it becomes too much. If you find a Top ignores your safe word, do all that is possible to stop the play as it has now become non-consensual and unacceptable to you. NO Dominant or Top should ever ignore your safe word. It can quickly turn into an abusive situation at that point. Dominants have been known to also have their own safe words. It is not exclusive to submissives or bottoms.
Sensory Deprivation: Any practice intended to reduce a person's ability to see, hear, or use his or her other senses, either to create a psychological state of arousal or fear or as part of sensation play.
Sensation Play: Any BDSM activity involving creating unusual sensations on a person, who may be blindfolded, as with ice cubes, soft fur or cloth, coarse materials etc.
Service D/s: A specific type of D/s centered around the submissive serving the dominant in practical ways, as by bringing the dominant food or drink and so on. For people involved in service D/s.
Service Top: A Dominant whose primary interest in domination is to provide an enjoyable experience for the submissive or to act out a scenario which the submissive finds appealing, but who may not get any direct gratification from the act of domination itself.
Sissy: A male submissive subject to feminization, as by being made to wear women's clothing, act like a woman in social settings. Most times this is non-consensual/consensual for the male. Also a part of humiliation play.
Slashy/Speak: See definition below, posted by Billy Q.
Spencer Paddle: A specific type of oblong wooden paddle, allegedly invented by an American schoolteacher named Harold Spencer in the 1930s, that has a rounded end, is generally about fifteen to twenty inches long, and has a number of holes drilled in the striking surface. The holes are intended to prevent the formation of a cushion of air between the paddle and the person being paddled, which Spencer reasoned might soften the blow.
Spider Gag: A specific type of ring gag featuring a central ring to which short rods or metal extensions are fitted, so as to hold the mouth open and keep the lips open as well.
Spreader Bar: An implement consisting of a rigid bar or rod, often with attachment points for restraints built into it at each end, designed to be attached to a person's feet or ankles so as to hold the person's legs spread apart. May be adjustable in length.
Suture Play: The practice of temporarily suturing or sewing parts of the body, particularly the genitals, for sexual gratification. Forms of suturing include sewing the labia closed and sewing the foreskin of the flaccid penis to the scrotum.
Sub Drop: A specific state of mind that a submissive may experience without notice, where depression sets in, after spending time with their Dominant, after a period of separation (although it can happen at any time). The submissive may start questioning themselves; Did I do the right thing while my Dominant was here? Am I good enough for him? The list goes on and on. The endorphin high that the submissive has been on, plummets and the submissive falls into a depression. This could last for hours or days, and it is not exclusive to submissives. Dominants may experience the same lows after extreme highs, which is called Dom Drop. Sub Frenzy: A very strong, sometimes overwhelming, desire to find a Dominant partner or to become immersed in BDSM related activities, sometimes seen in people who identify strongly as submissive, particularly people who have either just newly discovered their submissive side or who have not partaken in BDSM-related activities for a long time. People in the grip of sub frenzy may sometimes make unwise or unsafe choices. (For a novice in play, I would suggest that you assign someone you trust to be with you during your play activities, to ensure that the Top does indeed stop, even when you, yourself are saying "More".)
Submissive: One who assumes a role of submission in a power exchange dynamic. A submissive is a person who seeks a position of or occupies a role of intentional, consensual powerlessness, allowing another person to take control over him or her.
Submit: To give up power or control. A person who gives up power or psychological control to another is said to submit to that person.
Subspace: A specific state of mind that a submissive may enter, particularly after intense activities and/or (depending on the person) intense pain play, characterized by euphoria, bliss, a strong feeling of well-being, or even a state similar to intoxication. Thought to be related to the release of endorphins in the brain. The euphoria associated with subspace may last for hours or sometimes even days after the activity ceases.
Switch: One who can change roles, being either Dominant or submissive (or, less frequently, sadistic or masochistic at different times or with different partners.
Take-Koto: A type of rope harness, originating in Japan, which goes around the torso and holds the arms behind the back. Often used in Shibari.
Tawse: An instrument used for striking or whipping a person, consisting of a thick, heavy leather strap which splits into two or three parallel tails at the striking end.
Taylor Hammer: A common medical instrument consisting of a triangular rubber hammer attached to a metal handle, used for testing reflexes by tapping just beneath the knee. Sometimes used for percussion in the BDSM community. Teldildonics: Colloquial Of or relating to any form of sex toy or fucking machine designed to be operated remotely, as by radio, over a computer network, and so on.
Tens Unit: An electrical device which applies electrical signals through pads affixed to the skin, commonly used in the medical community to relieve pain by blocking the transmission of pain impulses through the nerves. Stands for "transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation." Used in BDSM as a form of electrical play.
Tomcat: A specific type of whip consisting of a non-rigid handle similar to the handle of a bullwhip or snake whip which ends with a number of narrow lashes similar to a flogger.
Top: One who administers some form of stimulation, such as spankings, floggings, or some other kind of stimulation on another person but does not have psychological control or power over that person.
Top Drop: A sudden, abrupt feeling of depression, unhappiness, or similar negative emotion in a Dominant which may occasionally occur immediately after a period of BDSM activity. May include feelings of guilt, especially if the Dominant believes he or she has made an error, or has traditional ideas about relationship or socially appropriate behavior.
Total Power Exchange (TPE): A relationship in which one person surrenders control to another person for an indefinite duration, and in which the relationship is defined by the fact that one person is always dominant and the other is always submissive. One of the more extreme forms of power exchange.
Utility D/s: A specific type of D/s centered around using the submissive in utilitarian capacities; for example; the submissive may kneel and act as a table for the dominant to eat from, and so on.
Vaginal Hook: A smooth metal hook, usually about an inch thick and six to eight inches long, designed to be inserted into the vagina.
VICSS (Voluntary, Informed, Consensual, Safe and Sane): A code of conduct which holds that any activity between adults is acceptable as long as it is Voluntary, Informed, Consensual, Safe and Sane.
Violet Wand: A device used for electrical play consisting of a handle, which contains a high-voltage coil called an "Odin coil," and several interchangeable electrodes, most commonly made of glass and filled with a gas which glows a brilliant purple in the presence of an electrical field. One of the safest electrical devices for BDSM play. Water Sports: Any of a class of activities involving urination, often urination on a person.
